5 months

Oh my, how the time has flown! I can't believe he has gone from this:


to this!


We are so blessed. Almost every day Jerad and I look at each other and ask how we got so lucky. Marshall is just so FUN. Every day he charms us in some new way. He loves to be tickled. He loves the nape of his neck munched on. He loves "talking" to us, his mobiles, and anything else that will listen. He has really found his voice and loves to experiment with different sounds, shrieks, and volumes.

The breastfeeding finally feels effortless. I'm so proud we've made it this far without ever having to supplement! I've been through cracked and bleeding nipples, 2 bouts of mastitis, 2 breast abscesses, thrush, a bleb, vasospasms, am I forgetting anything? I despise having to pump at work (3 times per shift plus one on the way to work), but he's growing so well and is so healthy its 120% worth it. In 5 months he's only had one small cold. I don't even know if you'd call it a cold. He had a stuffy nose for three days. That's it! Who knows if the breastfeeding has anything to do with him being so healthy, but it can't be hurting right? All that said, Marshall is not a "nice nurser."

I have a lot of friends who have babies about the same age. Most of them nurse before every sleeping session, nurse for comfort, stroke their mom's faces while nursing... ya, not my baby. He manages to guzzle down 3-4 ounces in around 4 minutes (the lactation consultant measured), then he's done and wants to play not be cuddled. He does not want to nurse before he goes to sleep. Ever. He doesn't want to nurse when he's unhappy. He wants to nurse when he's hungry which is every 4 hours most of the time with a few extra night sessions. He sure as heck doesn't stroke my face because he's too busy scratching, punching, and pushing me:) Thank God he doesn't have any teeth yet because I have a feeling how that's going to go...

It is very very hard to feed him in public because he latches and unlatches so many times, yet also refuses to nurse under a cover. Oi. I'm hoping the novelty of the outside world wears off soon and he learns to focus a little more. We're making it work though. He's so smiley and good natured its easy to let the annoying feeding habits slide.

My favorite time of the day is when I pick him up in his sleep right before I go to bed and feed him in the glider. He doesn't really wake up and is calm and *holds still* while I rock him. I get to snuggle him a little before putting him back to bed. It makes all the speed-feed-beat-on-mom sessions worth it.

It is so fitting that he was born in the water because this little guy is a water baby for sure. I'm fairly certain he would be happy to spend the entire day sitting in the shower. And napping! Oh how he loves to nap.

The first few weeks of his life he would only nap on our chests. Most of the pictures I have of that time are of him sleeping while Jerad holds him. Slowly he graduated to occasionally napping in his playpen. As long as he fell asleep in our arms... and we transitioned him oh-so-smoothly... and he was swaddled... and we put bolsters around him... and the stars aligned. One day he woke up and decided that being swaddled was World's Biggest Torture. We tried the one arm out thing, we tried both arms out. Nope, he would not have any of it. Not long after that he would nap in the sling, or on our bed as long as I nursed him to sleep and then snuck away. When he went down for the night I'd have to go to bed with him otherwise he'd keep waking up. Around three months he started napping in the crib as long as we rocked him to sleep first. This was my favorite. I wouldn't mind snuggling and rocking him to sleep if it took an hour every time.

His love for rocking was also short lived. Now he will scream if I try to rock him, but if I lay him down in the crib he puts his head down and goes right to sleep. Sometimes he will start fussing a few minutes later and I just have to go in and give him back his pacifier and he goes back down. It also doesn't matter to him if its me or Jerad putting him to sleep which makes both of our lives so much easier. He normally naps for 2-3 hours, 3-4 times a day. This kid loves his naps! I wish it were as easy when we were out and about. He really only likes sleeping in his crib, and has a hard time falling asleep in my arms so its hard when we're visiting people. If he will go down for a nap, its short lived and he's kind of "off" the rest of the day. So I just try to work around his schedule which is fine with me!

Everyone always wants to know if he sleeps through the night. He usually goes to sleep for the night between 6:30 and 7 in his crib. Jerad and I go to bed around 10. As soon as Marshall wakes up he's in bed with us for the rest of the night. Usually its around 4am, but sometimes 11pm. Sometimes he wakes up once, sometimes 5 times. I don't feel like we're sleep deprived zombies so his sleep "schedule" is fine with me. The good thing is, whenever he does wake up, he just nurses and goes right back to sleep. There hasn't been one night yet where we've had to walk him, or rock, or try to soothe him back to sleep.

Once he decides its time to wake up (between 5 and 6:30am), we're greeted with this cuteness:







He is just so happy, all the time. Sometimes he starts fussing and its just because he wants to talk and be talked too and he doesn't think anyone is paying attention. The second we look at him and smile he just starts laughing and cooing and making funny faces. He is quite the ham.



I know every parent thinks they have the cutest baby in the world. But he has to at least be in the top 10 right? It seems like he is growing and changing every day, I can't wait to see what the next month brings!

Operation Minimalize Progress #3

We ended up selling everything except the amp and sub which we'll just hang on to. We also got rid of a full size mattress, box springs, and bed frame.

Friday night we went through room by room (including our black hole of a basement) and made toss and donate piles. We ended up filling a 6x10ft trailer about 4 feet high. Um, that's a LOT of stuff guys! Combine that with all the stuff we sold and we got rid of a TON of stuff. I'll be honest, it was hard. There was a lot of second guessing on both of our parts and a few times where we'd decide to get rid of something, then bring it back in, then end up taking it back out. 2 days later and I can truthfully say I don't really even remember what we got rid of so obviously we didn't really need it.

We made so much room in our basement that Jerad is going to reorganize it a little bit and have enough space to wall off part and make himself an office/music room. It will be nice to have another space he can escape to when he needs to make phone calls and concentrate. We are still working on turning our guestroom into a playroom/craftroom/office/guestroom but its one big undertaking for such a small room! I think that room is 10x11 with two doors and a closet that have to have clear paths. We'll see how that all works out.

It feels really liberating to have freed up so much space. I want to get rid of even more, but first we just need to put everything back together! Right now it looks like a bomb went off in our house. We did a lot of rearranging and moving things from one room to another and apparently that creates a lot of mayhem. Over the next few days I'm sure it will come together.

Even with the current mess, I still feel like such a huge load has been taken off. Yeay for minimalizing!

Operation Minimalize Progress #2

Well, we sold everything listed in my last post plus a trailer of Jerad's. Now we have more room in our driveway! Last night I listed more things.

1. An amp and sub that have been sitting in our basement forever. The one in my old car broke and Best Buy replaced them but the sub takes up so much room in my trunk we never bothered installing them.




2. Martini glasses we never use.



3. A white dresser. This was in the guestroom but got moved to our room to make way for the desk that was in the nursery. Yeah, it confuses me too. Its cute but too big for our teeny tiny room.


4. A bistro table and chairs. We loved this when we lived in our templeton town house. We put it under the picture window and would have breakfast every morning. Oh the days of having lots of space!



5. All of my Paris Decor. We redecorated the living room last year and ended up moving most of the Paris stuff to our bedroom but it is WAY too much stuff for a bedroom. Someone else could get a lot more use of it.





6. Laundry Hamper. This matched our old bedroom set. Its nice but made of wrought iron so too heavy to carry to the laundry room and the canvas liner is a pain to take out. I'm going to replace with something I can cart to the washer.



7. Lavender stuff. This was in our bedroom and bathroom. Tired of dusting.



So far the table and chairs have been picked up, 2 people are thinking about the Paris stuff, and there is a 6 person waiting list for the dresser. Its crazy around here! I still can't believe we got rid of everything from the last post. Our house is feeling much more peaceful.

I know exactly how I want to decorate the living room... right now I'm just hung up on picking the right wool rug. I would be fine with no rug, but Jerad is rug obsessed. Which is odd because I'm always barefoot and he always wears shoes, so you'd think it would be the other way around. A nice rug will be a good investment since Marshall will be crawling soon and all we have is wood and tile flooring.

Our goals for today are to de-clutter the kitchen, living room, hall bath, our bedroom, and the three hall closets. We'll see how that goes.

Operation Minimalize Progress #1

Okay, we made some progress! Last night I took pictures and posted items on Craigslist of anything that immediately jumped out as something I could live with out. This is what I came up with (sorry for the bad pics, I did this in like 15 minutes):

1. The bed frame in our room. Its a nice, solid oak piece but MASSIVE. I bought it on CL last year with the plan to put it in the guestroom and move the headboard that is in there to our room. Except the lady that sold it told me it was for a full size bed and it is a queen. So, we got it home and were forced to put it in our room. But its huge. Also you can't push the bed all the way against the wall and Marshall sleeps with us so he has to always be in the middle and I stuff pillows between the bed and wall. Not ideal, out it goes!


2. My jewelry box. Someone gave this to me. I really don't need all the storage and I'm sick moving it to vacuum around the legs.


3. Little white table thing. This was in our bathroom with towels on the bottom, extra TP in the drawers, and lots of cute stuff on the top that I had to dust all the time. I bought this when I was 17 and working at Hallmark. Its been in 5 houses and almost every room. I'm going to replace it with a small storage bench that I can put towels in and also sit on when I'm giving Marshall a bath.



4. Living Room Rug. This I bought because we needed a rug, and it was on sale. The pattern is so busy it dominates the room and makes it hard to coordinate things. If this one doesn't sell, then we're going to move it to the back patio (it's an outdoor rug) and bbq in style. See ya!


5. (2) Chairs. I needed dining room chairs and bought some on Craigslist. I needed 2 but the lady would only sell all 4 so I took them. 2 had arms, 2 didnt. I don't like the ones with arms for inside. The plan was I would paint them the same red as our front door and put them on the porch. Lets be real, its never gonna happen. Out they go!


6. Glider and Ottoman. We bought a blue glider for the nursery and it was in our living room for a few weeks while we were finishing the room. We both loved sitting in it so we bought (from Craigslist) one that would match the living room too. We used it a lot, but now that Marshall doesn't want to be held 24/7 I'd like something a little more stylish. Plus the one in his room is much nicer if he does want to be rocked. See ya!


7. Dresser. This one was hard. This was mine when I was a kid, and my mom's before that. Its oak and antique. I wanted to put a changing pad on top and use it in the baby room, but Jerad thought the lines were too "girly." Also he hates it with a passion because the drawers are hard to open (they need to be waxed--it was made pre-drawer slides). I painted it white last year and was planning on distressing it, replacing the glass, replacing the drawer bottoms, and waxing the drawers so they'd slide. Clearly that didn't happen and there is really no place to put it. It doesn't hold enough clothes for us to use it in our room. I'll get over it.



8. Wooden stool. I took this out of my dad's shop, painted it, and used it as a side table when I first moved out after high school. I've repainted it to match every place I've lived in since and recently repainted it AGAIN to match our new living room decor. Its been a side table, nightstand, stool, and accent piece. I'm tired of moving it around.

I posted everything around 10pm last night, and by 9am this morning the jewelry box, white table, blue stool, glider and rug have all picked up and paid for, and someone is coming to see the bed tonight. If the guy doesn't take the bed, there are 4 other ppl in line already. I priced everything very low so that it would move. It was more important to us to get rid of things than to make a killing. I'm sticking to my guns about donating whatever doesn't sell, but at this rate everything will be gone today!

Our house is 1100 sq and built in the 50's so the layout is wonky. Just getting rid of this stuff will create a ton more room. I'll do another pass tonight and maybe venture into the basement.

One of my big issues is dealing with the "what if's." What if we buy a bigger house next year and need more stuff to make it homey? What if I painted it (soooo guilty of this one) and it looked really stylish? What if I change my mind and miss it? I am also guilty of getting things that I don't necessarily have a place for. Like the rug up above. It was a great deal and had some colors that matched our house. But it was just waaaaaay too busy.

Maybe one day when I don't work full time and Marshall is old enough to occupy himself I'll actually have the time to refinish and re-purpose pieces. If Jerad and I do buy another house next year, it will be fun picking out new things together that fit that space!

As we rework THIS house I am going to go room by room, and finish them one at a time instead of trying to do everything at once which stresses me out. I found this awesome website which should help me stay on budget: http://www.copycatchic.com/.

I also found this site which gives you the plans to build furniture featured places like Pier-One and World Market. http://ana-white.com/ Now, this is a slippery slope. Jerad LOVES doing stuff like this, but his free time is few and far between. I think as long as it was only one piece here and there and something that could be finished in a weekend it would be okay.

A Clean Slate

I am SO SICK of having so much stuff. I've really been trying to declutter and get rid of stuff over the last year. We had a couple of yard sales, put a lot of stuff on craigslist and really pared down. BUT, we still have sooooooo much crap. Every room in our house has literally twice as much stuff as it should. Its stressful and hard to put stuff away because there isn't room. On the one hand I think I'm pretty good about getting rid of things, but then on the other hand I always think "oh, I could sell this" or "we could use this in a bigger house" "I could paint it/turn it into something/" or "it would cost $XX to replace this" "I might use this later."

I'm ready to just get rid of it.

It doesn't matter if our extra bed sets are expensive and they would look cute if we changed the decor in our room. Its ridiculous to be saving sheets for a twin bed when WE DONT HAVE ONE. I can't fit anything in the linen closet!

I am also very guilty of holding onto things for Some Future Yard Sale. Basically half of our basement is stuffed w/ "yard sale" boxes. I was reading a thread about what the minimum amount of money ppl would have to make to consider having a yard sale. Most people said nothing under $250 because the hassle, time, and storing the stuff in the meantime just wasn't worth it. There were a few ppl that were super poor and said $50 because they would be able to take their kids out to eat which they could never afford otherwise. That got me thinking, we don't need the money, its absolutely ridiculous for us to be storing stuff in the basement for a yard sale that isn't even planned. Not too mention that if Jerad worked on a weekend he's make way more than we'd make at a yard sale which would be just as much "work."

I want us to be able to walk through our house and love every room instead of being stressed by the crap.

I want a space that works for us. Right now we have a beautiful guest room, but the only thing it gets used for is me piling laundry on the bed (because our closets and dresser and so full its a pain to put the clothes away). We nixed the office to create a Nursery for Marshall and we need office space way more than we need a guestroom. We're planning on getting rid of our guest bed and turning that room into an office/playroom with a sleeper sofa so that we can still accommodate guests when we need to.

This weekend Jerad and I are going to go through every room, the basement, and the shed and throw everything we don't want in a trailer, donate what we can, and trash what's left. On the one hand yes it sucks to get rid of that we could probably sell, BUT is the money really worth all the hassle of trying to sell it, letting a stranger in our house, and not being able to put our rooms together until its gone?

Our new rules are going to be
"don't buy anything that I don't have a place in mind for it to go"
"one thing out for every new thing in,"
"get rid of anything that hasn't been used in 3 months."

The only exception would be stuff that only gets used infrequently but we "need" (like christmas decor and camping stuff), baby stuff we will use for future children, and a few keepsakes like the porcelain doll from my grandmother.

I know I could cut my crafting stuff and books waaaaaaaaaaay down too.

Our space needs to be functional and relaxing not be stuffed to the brim. How nice would it be to have a basement that had ROOM in it? Anyways, that's my plan for the weekend.... to Clean Sweep. I'll list the big ticket items on CL this week and whatever doesn't sell can just be carted off.

That all sounds fine and dandy but then there's Christmas right around the corner. I'm getting nervous just thinking about it!

I'm writing this here so that I don't chicken out and change my mind. We're planning on getting rid of probably 30% of our stuff without [hopefully] looking back.

Everyone told me I'd stop caring about cleaning as much once the baby came. Um, NOT TRUE. I care just as much, yet I don't have the time I used to. Before I was able to dust every knick-knack and decoration weekly, and keep everything organized. Not so much anymore.

I am determined to not have more stuff than I can take care of.

Here is the list that we'll be using to decide what to keep:

Good Rules of Thumb:
* get rid of anything that requires you to purchase some kind of organization item for it. chances are, you don't need that crap to begin with.
* anything that ends up covered in dust--if you really loved it that much, it would get more attention.
* anything you can always find at goodwill for under a buck that you hardly ever use anyway.
* Get rid of duplicate things you have from when you got married that you thought you'd keep both of in case one broke
* Get rid of that box of stuff (or basement/garage of stuff) you might try to sell someday.
* get rid of stuff that just never seems to find a "home".
* get rid of "some day" things, as in "SOME DAY I'll use this for xyz".
* Get rid of things you would NOT want to pack up and have to move if you were moving to a different home.
* get rid of all of the boxes that haven't been unpacked yet from the last time you moved.
* things that "can be fixed" -if you haven't fixed it by now, it's probably not going to happen.


EMOTIONAL/SENTIMENTAL:
* Consider taking a photograph of a momento then getting rid of the actual momento.
* Get rid of ANYTHING that does not bring you some joy when you see it or use it.
* Get rid of gifts you don't like and things you keep out of guilt or obligation
* Get rid of anything that reminds you of someone who doesn't make your life joyful
* Get rid of thank you cards, birthday cards...that don't really have special meaning
* Get rid of things that make you feel like you're not the person you want to be (those reminders of things you'd love to do but never have time to and that only drain your spirit/energy)
* Get Rid of Anything You Don't Need or Love, things that aren't "you".
* If you pick something up and wonder whether you need it, you don't. The things you truly need and love - you know that without hesitation.
* Ditch all your dried flowers.
* Get rid of balloons that no longer stay afloat


KITCHEN
* Get rid of kitchen appliances you use less than, say, once a month
* Anything in the kitchen cupboard (dishes, canned goods, utensils, you name it) that haven't been used in a year. (Other than the forspecial china and silver).
* Get rid of all but four pot holders
* all the extra measuring spoons and cups
* All those knives that don't really do it. you only really need 2.
* the cookie cutters that are never used.
* Get rid of food in the pantry that has sat there for a yr (find a new owner or toss it with an expired date)
* most of the tupperware can go


CLOTHING/LINENS:
* Get rid of clothes you don't look good in, don't fit right, or you don’t love.
* Ugly, stained, ill-fitting, maybe someday I'll wear it again, itchy clothes. (keep one set for painting and crud)
* Get rid of clothing I won't wear or haven't worn in 2 yrs
* Get rid of the orphan socks and pairs of socks with holes in them - they're useless!
* Undies with holes even if they will last another year
*Get rid of all towels that are holy or frayed or excess (keep enough for 2 per person and 1 for the pets)
*Get rid of all bedding sets (keep 1 for myself and 2 per child)
*Get rid of your fat clothes, your skinny clothes ... dress the body you have and love it
*Get rid of hand-me-down clothes that you don't even like!
*Get rid of the 8 or 9 boxes of fancy baby clothes that will never be used


HOBBIES/MEDIA:
* Get rid of books/magazines you don't read all the time, will never read again, or no longer interest you (what's a library for after all?)
* Get rid of outdated reference materials
* Get rid of pictures and artwork you have no place to put - if you like it, then find a place for it - take something you like less down, but if it doesn't have a place what good is it?
* decorations you don't love
* craft supplies you aren't using
* Get rid of scrap wood from that last project, unless you have an actual plan in mind for it.
* Get rid of scrap fabric.


KIDS STUFF:
* all the extra markers and crayons. keep one set of new.
* Get rid of dried up play dough.
* Get rid of happy meal toys, toys that are overflowing out of the toy bins, toys the kids don't even know they have, noise-making toys that require batteries!
* all but 25 favorite toys for each kid (sets count as one thing). This one is hard.
* Stuffed animals. They are nasty and collect dust. Keep one or two special loves. but not 50.
* Get rid of poorly written, insanely annoying or duplicate kids books.
* Get rid of broken crayons (yes, I know you can melt them to make block crayons. If you were going to do that, wouldn't you have done it already?).
* Get rid of things you have been collecting to do "recycled art" with your kids, unless you actually plan to do it this week. There will always be more.


JUNK EVERYONE SEEMS TO HAVE:
* that bunch of random floating pens--give em to the grocery store clerk
* All those screws and nails that are leftover from everything. Can never find the one you want anyway.
* Get rid of blurry or bad photos (especially if they're duplicate prints), unless it's the one shot you have of a momentous event.
* Get rid of at least one rubbermaid of the Christmas decorations you don't like that have been heaped upon you because your inlaws can't imagine that maybe you want a simple Christmas.
* Get rid of the 9 extra cameras that haven't been touched since the digital camera was purchased.
* Get rid of the two "spare" computers that barely work, take 10 minutes to boot up, and sound like jet engines when they run.
* Get rid of the "spare" furniture (that entertainment center) that has been sitting in the garage and storage area since move in day, extra furniture, the ugly chair in my bedroom
* Get rid of junk mail!!
*Get rid of all outdated toiletries and make-up, products (cleaning and body) that are unsafe and lotions and potions you no longer use
* Get boxes loaded with books, DVD's, cd's and clothes OUT of here, before I start going through them and "finding" things I "need" to keep.

**Toss it means get rid of it in some way--thrift store, friend, whatever. The garbage can is a last resort.**

If it makes you feel bad in any way, toss it.

If you can't find a home for it, toss it.

If you have a nicer one already, toss it.

If you don't have an immediate need for it or a real future need, toss it.

If you have to think about it too long, toss it.

If you don't love it, toss it.

If you wouldn't buy a replacement if it were lost in a fire, toss it.

If you're holding onto a gift out of obligation, toss it.

If it'd be really easy to replace it should the need arise for it in the future, toss it.

If it's broken and you don't want to repair it, toss it.

If it doesn't fit your vision of what your life should be like, toss it.


And, of course, everything MUST have a home. Even things that are not put away very often, CAN be put away. If a thing doesn't have a home, it becomes a nomad. Nomads create visual clutter, and visual clutter will very quickly become actual clutter.

And one more thing ...

Get rid of stuff you hang onto just because you spent a lot of money for those things, or someone else spent a lot of money for those things. If it doesn't work for you, get rid of it, even if it was expensive. Keep the lesson but not the item.

If you made it this far, congratulations!!! I'll post an update soon and pics of our new, simpler spaces. Wish me luck!

Pumpkin Head

Caught in the act...

Happy Birthday to meeeeeee

Today is my birthday. The big 2-6. Jerad and I were just taking about how we were only 21 (me) and 23 (him) when we started dating. We were babies! I can't believe how the time has flown by.

Usually I am all about my birthday. I typically have a "birthday month." This year all I wanted to do was nothing. Just spend time with Jerad and M and RELAX. So, that's what we did. We saw a movie (The Switch), had dinner (Berry Hill Bistro), and went to the Hot Springs. Nice and low key and relaxing! This morning I even got to sleep in. Heaven.

I plan on spending the rest of the day savoring every minute with this little babylove:

Good Morning!

Love it

Do you see how his left eye is more droopy than the right?


His dad does this exact same lazy-eye thing when he's tired. It's even on the same eye. Love it.

I'm exhausted.

Man, how is it only Wednesday? This week has lasted forever... and I still have 30 minutes left of my shift today, then 10.5hrs tomorrow. Kill me.

Things have been going okay. Marshall still isn't napping well for my mom and so when I get home at 5:45 he nurses, then is asleep around 6pm. I'm glad he sleeps in our bed so at least I get to "see him" even if its in his sleep. He sleeps pretty good until midnight then starts waking up every hour or 2 to eat then we get up for the day at 5. Awesome.

Jerad quit his job, did I tell you that? It was just getting to be way too much drama drama and he was way under appreciated. his supervisor decided he needed to "prove himself" after having worked there for 3 years, coming in every weekend they asked him to, always staying late, doing ANYTHING they wanted. Then his email/computer got taken away and he started getting all of these ridiculous projects to do and nothing but attitude from his supe. No thanks! It was time to move on.

He was working crazy hours between having a full time job and all the side stuff so we decided it would be best for our family if he quit his full time w/ benefits job (crazy I know). The plan was that could work for himself doing random side jobs, work with the contractor he's been doing solar with, and have a flexible schedule so he could see me and the baby more. He also was going to work the Outage at Diablo so we could pay off my car to make Dave Ramsey happy, and have a nice chunk in our savings acct for when times are slow. We talked about all the free time he was going to have and how we could meet for lunch like we used to, he's have time to finish projects around the house, spend more time with the dogs who have been crazy lately, and have some daddy-baby bonding. Sounds great yeah?

Since he "quit" he's been busier than ever. In the last week he did a solar install in Bakersfield (or was it twice in Bakersfield? It's all a blur...), drove to Pasadena to bid a solar project, then yesterday flew to Delano for another bid. Today he left to go to bakersfield and install an inverter, LA to pick up solar panels (or something like that), and end up in San Diego for a big project. He has no idea how long he'll be gone. He's hoping to be back Friday for a day, then turn around and head BACK to San Diego. But who knows, he could just be there for a week. He's trying to get this install wrapped up before he starts working crazy overtime at Diablo. Oh, did I mention he thinks that will start next Friday? I guess I'm just a little overwhelmed.

I am SO thankful that he has all this work and that I have such a great job but ya... it's hard. Monday is also my 26th b-day! I don't know if I'm doing anything. I kind of just want to sleep in and snuggle my baby that I don't get to see anymore.

My mom starts teaching next week and we STILL don't have anyone to watch Marshall on Thursday's. The plan was for Jerad to get to stay home with him for the next month but now that can't work. That is super stressing me out. Less than a week to find someone I feel comfortable leaving the baby with for that long is a big task. I'm thinking about cutting my hours down on Thurs so he won't have to be watched by someone else as long, but I have yet to find that someone else. I wish I could just bring him to work. Maybe if I stick him in my file cabinet no one will know?

Having the next few days/week all to me and Marsh won't be so bad. Somehow when Jerad is home everything is just messier... if it's just me once I clean something it stays that way. Plus I clean when I'm bored so I'm sure things will be spick and span in no time. Also, one less person to listen to snoring at 4am when I'm trying to get back to sleep before the alarm goes off doesn't sound bad either.

One more day to get through then 4 day weekend here I come!

I survived!

Sorry in advance for this sounding scatterbrained:

Today actually went much better than I was expecting. The 10.5 hours I spent at work didn't feel as long as I thought it would. Pumping 3 times during my shift sucks... a LOT. There is nothing convenient about pumping milk. All the bottles and parts to clean... transferring the milk to freezer bags, labeling it. UGH. Way easier to just pull out the boob and feed the baby. Not to mention that holding your baby is way better than dealing with the pump. Anyways, I pump after the last morning feeding (around 6:30am), then at my 10:00 break, lunch, and 3:00 break. By the time I'm done on my lunch break and have everything cleaned up and put away, I have about 5 minutes to eat. Oh well, it could be worse!

Marshall had a hard time. This was the longest he had ever been away from me. He was supposedly super happy and charming all day, but would.not.nap. Then when he got home he wanted to nurse.... for 2 hours straight. I kid you not. Every time I tried to set him down he would scream like he was dying. Finally he fell asleep and I was able to lay him on the couch, surrounded by my sweater that smelled like me, with a pillow wedged against his tummy where I had been laying. It worked just long enough for me to scarf down some food before he woke up screaming to be cuddled some more. Poor little guy. I'm sure it will get easier. We took turns lovin/snuggling/rocking him until he finally decided to fall asleep around 9pm. He is the sweetest, easiest baby... as long as he gets his sleep!

I'm surprised he wouldn't sleep because he has been a champion napper as of late. I used to have to nurse him to sleep in bed, then slowly sneak away. Or hold him. Or have him in the sling. That transitioned to me being able to put him down when he was asleep, to putting him down when he was super sleepy. Then in the last few weeks I've been able to lay him in his crib as soon as he looks tired, and he just falls asleep. Thats it! Sometimes he'll fuss a little bit and I just run his back until he konks out. And he'll stay out for 2-4 hours. Three times a day. Seriously, world's easiest baby. I hope him and my mom get it together soon because overtired babies are no fun.

We'll see how tomorrow goes!

Excuse me while I cry into a pillow...

This was the last weekend we had together before I go back to working 10 hour shifts. By the time you add in lunch and driving to/from work, I'll be gone 11 hours a day. That is an insane amount of time to spend away from this cute little guy:

Btw, this is my new favorite onesie. It has a horse on the front and says "here a neigh, there a neigh, everywhere a neigh" then has this on the back:

The good news is I only work 4 days a week. I am so blessed that we were in a position where I was able to take off so much time. I keep trying to remind myself of that... but its still hard. I'm not the kind of person who would like to completely stay home, but I did love working the 1/2 shifts. It was the perfect blend of being at home, and still feeling like I was out doing something productive.

We thought about doing something fun before I go back, like going to the San Diego Zoo, or up to Monterey. Instead I decided I'd rather stay home and spend as much time with my boys as possible.

Saturday we went to a yard sale at Kari's house where we finally remembered to get a pic of Marshall and his buddy Joshua. They were born 4 days apart! Right now they don't seem too excited by each other, but I'm sure they'll be bff's someday:


We spent more of the rest of the day outside. Marshall is loving being outside these days.


At night we gave him a bath in the sink.


Up until the last few days he has been going to bed at 10 when we do, waking up once to nurse around 2 or 3am, then up for the day around 8 (unless its a work day and we wake him up at 5:30). This worked pretty well for us. Sometimes he would wake up more often during the night to eat, but I don't mind, I fall back to sleep easy plus he sleeps in bed with us so its not a big ordeal. That all came to an end sometime during the past few days though. Now he falls asleep around 6:30 or 7, doesn't wake till 3, then wakes up about every hour from then until 6am. I can deal with the frequent waking, but it breaks my little heart that he's going to bed so early... I feel like I'm not going to see him once I'm working full time again!

At least he's a happy boy in the morning.


Sunday we went out to brunch. Marshall isn't quite ready to sit in a high chair yet, but he can sit in the booth pretty well.

I can't believe how much he has grown in the last 4 months!

He is starting to develop such a personality. There are definitely things he likes (music, outdoors, books, baths) and things he doesn't like (cold, getting out of the carseat, and putting on clothes mostly).

After brunch, and a good nap, it was time to hang up the sheets for me


and nakey time for Marshall:


The necklace he is wearing is a baltic amber teething necklace. They help with teething pain and symptoms. He isn't cutting teeth yet, so I don't know how it helps with the pain, but it did cut his drool waaaaay down. Plus we think its freakin adorable.

Well I'm going to cuddle with my hubby and cry into the pillow about abandoning my baby to go back to work. Here's a good note to end on: