It has to do with Marshall's 1st birthday party.
MONTHS before he turned one, I started planning the party. We decided on a Dr. Suess theme, and I started saving all sorts of inspiration pictures:
I planned out activities for the kids. I bought craft supplies to make the decorations and goodie bags. I found pictures of Marshall from every month since he was born to make a banner out of. I couldn't imagine feeding him a typical sugar and frosting laden cake so I found a recipe for this carrot cake.
The menu was all centered around things from Dr. Suess books and I was going to make cute little signs. We had:
Grapes (Hunches of Bunches)
Melon Balls (Schlott's Knotts)
Pasta Salad (Poodles with Noodles)
Goldfish Crackers (One Fish, Two Fish)
Pink Lemonade (Pink Ink)
Cupcakes (Who Cakes)
and an empty plate (A crumb that was even too small for a mouse)
It was going to be bombass.
Then we were closing on our new house one week after the party so I was busy with everything that goes with that, plus packing, working full time, getting ready for the HUGE sales seminar that happens at my job every 2-3 years, and Jerad was working out of town more and more which meant I was the only one to chase Marshall around. As if that all wasn't enough, even though I didn't know it yet I was also pregnant and just So Tired that I couldn't muster one modicum of energy to do ANY party planning.
I completely dropped the ball.
I didn't get one.single.craft finished. No kid activities or goodie bags. Which was actually ok because the day of the party 7 kids and 9 adults had to cancel or just didn't show up.
No signs for the food.
No decorations except some balloons and a few streamers that got thrown up as the guests were arriving.
No special cake.
I felt like SUCH a failure. I didn't even get a picture of me with Marshall. Or of our little family. I know it doesn't matter. He won't remember it. No one else noticed or cared. We had friends, family, food, cake, and presents and Marshall was so good and so cute. But still. It wasn't what I had planned and I had a hard time accepting that. Once I've made my mind up about something I have a hard time letting go of it.
Anyways, that's the rest of my mommy guilt as far as Marshall goes. Like I said, 2 things in 2 years isn't that bad but I've been thinking about it a lot because his 2nd birthday is only three weeks away. Yikes! I should probably start planning for that one... as far as I know I wont be getting pregnant or moving in the next three weeks so we should be fine.