Thursday, February 26, 2009

Awe, poor baby. And I mean me.

We left off a few day's ago with Jerad on the couch watching Real House Wives of Orange County, and me feeling a little better.

He ended up calling out sick Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and making a short appearance at work today only to go home early. All this from the boy whom I have to usually FORCE to call our sick for ONE day. Yikes.

It hasn't been pretty. Let me give you some back ground info. I am a very doting person. You have a fever? Here, let me get you a cold cloth for your head. Thirsty? I'll get some water. Sore Throat? Would you like tea or just straight honey? Stuffed sinuses? I'll do the Neti Pot for you... without gagging. Need your feet rubbed? More blankets? How can I serve you?

Jerad also isn't helpless. Most men leave the nest clueless about real life except for how to bbq and how to set up the surround sound. Not my man! He came to me knowing how to cook (very well!), how to clean, how to make beds the right way, how to wash his own laundry, and even how to knit. Now that I think of it, I probably should have written his mom a thank-you letter:) The point is, he was self sufficient and not one of those "mama's boys."

Annnnd then He Got Sick. Like I mentioned before, I am mooooore than happy to get him whatever his little heart desires when he is sick. And he is also moooooore than capable of getting it himself. So we should have all our bases covered right? Ha. Haha. Hahahahahaha.

Jerad has this super annoying habit of vocalizing everything that he is feeling while sick. He isn't whining, or even complaining, just This is really annoying for someone who likes to "fix things" to have to deal with. After 3 and a half days of it, and getting over being sick myself, I was ready to kill him last night.

Over the last couple days I have been getting so frustrated because he will ask he how to "make something better" and then, do nothing about it.

Him: What do you do for ear aches?
Me: You can put onion juice or peroxide in it.
Him: Oh.

Him: What do you do for congested sinuses?
Me: A Neti Pot would work the best and its really soothing...
Him: Oh.

Multiply that conversation times about 15.

I just gave up and started feeding him Stinging Nettle tea by the cup full, and cooking with as much garlic, onions, and blueberries as possible.

On Thursday I came home from working a 10.5 hour day and got started on dinner. Normally, if one of us stayed home for the day, the other one of us would def cook and clean, but he was really sick so I wasn't expecting him to. So I'm tired, a little sick (also on my period btw), and trying to cook dinner because he hasn't eaten anything. All day. I decide to make chicken enchiladas.

I'm in the kitchen, he's sprawled on the couch looking like death is coming through the front door any second.

Him: I think my fever is back.
Me: Do you want me to get you a cold cloth?
Him: No that's okay.

I make the Enchiladas making sure to only put in stuff that he would want, manage to spill sauce all over the counter and down the cupboards, slice my fingernail off in the cheese grader, and burn myself. Annnnnd he's not hungry.


Does he want ANYTHING else? No.

The night progresses. He's thirsty but doesn't want anything to drink. Throat hurts but doesn't want honey. Body aches. Is seeing purple elephants (okay I made that one up). Doesn't drink the tea I get him, doesn't want the blueberries I get him. Anyways, by bed time I am READY for bed since I have to be up at 6.

It takes us a lot longer than usual to get through our bedtime routine of putting the dogs inside, turning down the bed, getting water, taking vitamins, washing faces, brushing teeth... because someone is moving a wee bit slow.

Finally we hit the hay.

And the coughing begins.

Shortly followed by the tossing.

And turning.

And sighing.

And more coughing.

Not just coughing. But coughing, then LOUDLY clearing his throat. Over and over.

Him: My throat hurts
Me: (no shit Sherlock) Do you want some Honey? I'll get it? I'll go with you to the Kitchen?
Him: That's okay


Him: My ear hurts...
Me: Do you want to try peroxide in it?
Him: Thats okay...


Him: I don't think I can sleep lying down in here.
Me: Do you want to get some pillows out of the guest room and prop yourself up more?
Him: I dunno.

annnd, that's when I lost my shit.

At this point it had been about an hour of him tossing, and turning, and stating problems but being completely unwilling to have me, or try anything himself. I loudly told him that I thought there was Dayquill in the bathroom (if I suggest Day/NyQuil I must be mad) and really I should have just taken it myself and passed out. I reminded him that I had to be awake in a few hours and it was a tad frustrating hearing allll about him being miserable, yet not being able to help. I may or may not have asked him to keep his thoughts to himself.

I really do feel bad for him, but also, who out there feels like men can not handle being sick as well as women can? AND, if you ask for advice, repeatedly, maybe you should take it?


Beth McDermott said...

jerad and tyson are interchangable. sick.

Big M said...

LOL., how funny! Now, just imagine if your baby was also a Momma's Boy who whined constantly when sick and wanted you to wait on him hand and foot...but then still wasn't happy and so continued to whine constantly...not that I know anyone like that ;)