Wednesday, July 2, 2008

My fabulous night

Yesterday after work I buzzed over to Target to get a pair a tweezers since over the last few months every pair I own has disappeared. Seriously, about 5 pairs... I wonder where they all congregated to? It has been a long time since I have had to buy tweezers. Holy crap, kind of stressful! Slanted tip, straight tip, precision tip, $.99-$12.00... very confusing!

I thought the only requirement was that they pull out hairs, or splinters... crazy. I went for a $1.89 slant tip pair that came with a pink leather case... not that that swayed me or anything... and they seem to do the job just fine.

While I was shopping I got a message from Jerardo (yes I do call him that occasionally, courtesy of Lucinda) saying he would be a little late. Fine with me, a little more Target time.

I decided that I needed some black leggings to wear under short skirts and whatnot which turned out to be super rewarding since they are sized by height and weight I am a size 1. Score, that's never going to happen again. Finally, being so short paid off! Then I saw the Dyson vacuums and decided it was time to run away before I spent my entire paycheck. You know you're OCD when you would 78.9% prefer a pink Dyson over an engagement ring. Ooh, what if they could put diamonds ON the Dyson??? Just kidding... I'd be fine with cubic zirconium if it was a vacuum. Heck, I'd be fine with a CZ ring if I got a Dyson. Okay, I'm getting all excited, I need to move on...

On my way home (about 6:30) I got a call from Jerad saying that he was going to stay at work later but I could come over and visit if I wanted. His dad is a Math teacher and also a Painter and was painting out at the place where Jerad works and Jerad needed to move a bunch of stuff for him and then since it was such a big job decided to stay and help. I said as fun as it sounded to go out there and watch them paint I'd go home and they could have some father-son bonding.

Pretty much the second I walked in the door I started feeling like crap. Around 7:30 I got another message from Jerad saying that it looked like they were going to be pretty late but again, if I wanted to I could come. I asked him if he was hinting that I was supposed to since he kept asking me and he said no, he just didn't want me to be bored. I assured him I was fine and ended up going to bed at 8:00. Yes, 8:00pm. Because I am having the worst period of my life er, haven't been feeling so swell. Oh, ALSO, thanks to all the California fires and construction dust, I now have this constant cough that sounds like an 80 year old Jewish smoker woman. Oh man, it is sexy.

Well, as long as we are on this little TMI kick, one of my friends has been going on and on and on about colon hydrotherapy. She is a huge fan and goes on and on about the benefits and has talked me into trying it. I'm not putting her name in case afterwards I want to stick something up her... I mean, in case I am not as enthused. Once can't hurt right? Well, I mean I don't see this becoming a regular thing by any means but now that I have a healthy diet one good detoxifying might be in order. Don't worry there won't be an in depth follow up blog on this one.

Um, sometimes I write something, then get ready to click "post" and wonder what the heck was I thinking... and why the heck am I posting it. And why the heck are YOU reading it? Hmm, this is one of those times... then I see something shiny and post it anyways.


Jules said...

heh, only you would blog about colonics before 11AM. seriously though, i've tried it and it really helped with my energy level and headaches. once you get past the awkwardness...

Melinda Hart said...

Um Steph Steph Steph Steph Steph. There are (I guess) a few times in your life where you sister has to step in and say OMG TMI and I have no idea in hell even what the hydro-colonoscablahblahblah is! Yikes!!! I think it may be more socially acceptable to blog about your sex life than your poop. I'm just saying. And I'm also just saying that people are probably more interested in your sex life than your poop...

THAT HAVING BEEN SAID, for all of us who apparently don't know what your water butt gizmo and its benefits are, please enlighten us!

Steph said...

Okay, it is not "my water butt gizmo" you go to a place that is like a spa and have it done...

1. Compression of neighboring organs disappears or attenuates when volume reduces in the colon. Sensation of lightness may be experienced.

2. Reduces pressure in the intra-abdominal area which improves venous return from lower extremities and pelvic zone

3. Relaxes pressure on the hips and lumbar column and is beneficial to their mobility

4. Potential to correct intestinal transit problems such as constipation and diarrhea without resorting to prescription drugs

5. Stimulates peristaltic action of intestines and therefore removal of constipation

6. Relaxes abdominal muscles from the action of water temperature and massage that accompany the colonic and stimulates peristaltic action restoring normal muscle tone

7. Increases abdominal muscle tone due to reducing intestinal residues

8. Relaxing effect on organs above intestines such as the liver, heart, and lungs.

9. We can suppose colon hydrotherapy improves functions of the large intestines, lymph and nervous system because a relation exists between them in the GI tract.

10. Sensation of well being due to the elimination of mucus, alimentary remainders not digested, gases and toxic bacteria.

11. Relieves inflammation and edema due to elimination of irritating substances

12. Expels parasites due to alternating water temperatures and complementary additives to colonic water such as garlic and other vermifuge (parasite killing) herbs

13. Reduces weight and slims due to activating elimination

14. Relieves gynecological disorders such as cystitis and dysmenorrhea due to reduction of a prolapsed intestine

15. Creates an increase in mental capacity and rejuvenation since it decreases the degenerative process, normal or accelerated, by removing toxic substances that affect biological aging.

16. Reduces risk of complications after surgery because it reinforces natural immunity.

17. Decreases demineralization of body because it improves metabolism.

B. Indications For Different Pathologies

1. Sharp and chronic pain from spastic colon.

2. Skin conditions, acne, follicles of the hair and therefore the hair itself before initiating any other process due to direct relationship between intestinal and skin health. Use of trace elements and fatty acids in combination with hydrotherapy are essential in any skin problem.

3. Emotional and mental states such as anxiety, fear, insomnia.

4. Beneficial effect on headaches for 2 reasons: 1, relaxation of lumbar vertebrae transmits to the cervical region and its articulation in the cranium reduces muscular tension headaches; and 2, elimination of toxins causes many headaches to disappear at their root. Colonics have a relaxing effect on 'emotional activity.' Colonics help decongest the liver, a source of many headaches.

5. Colonics help decongest the spinal column and inner ear and therefore improve states of dizziness and vertigo.

6. Otitis has greater period of remission.

7. Reduces the degenerative processes of arthritis and osteoporosis due to its proximity to hip or vertebrae articulation.

8. Help for athletes who verify the detoxification effect and purity that colon hydrotherapy has with the following results: increase in tone, greater resistance to muscle fatigue, general improvement to the joints, improved training, and improved calcium in the bones.

9. Ability to obtain better diagnostic images via radiology, ultrasound and manual touch due to elimination of colon contents.

10. Advised before any surgery especially of abdomen. Colon hydrotherapy contributes also to rapid elimination of anesthetic.

11. Preventive of degenerative and other pathological processes. In some countries, relatives of cancer patients receive colon hydrotherapy with prevention in mind.

12. Diverticulosis, Crohn's, Ulcerative Colitis. (In US, with physician's prescription and supervision.)

13. Other indications: pregnancy up to fourth month, intestinal laziness, swelling, ankylosis, pain of dorsal spine, chronic lumbar pain, candida, dry skin, wrinkles, insufficient renal elimination, immune insufficiency or auto-immune condition, aid for para- and quadriplegics, any sign of chronic intoxication, anemia, sclerosis.

C. Effect on Return Circulation

1. The blood and lymph have fewer obstacles in the abdomen for their ascent and hence permit improvement in a number of areas, most frequently with women and even more if they are constipated.

2. Varices can be minimized if they are not great in size.

3. Improves circulation of swollen, inflamed, cold, cyanic-colored legs

4. Permits greater reabsorption of woven subcutaneous tissue in cellulitis

5. Relieves excess pressure of veins in hemorrhoid cases

6. Relieves heavy and slow stomach and morning sickness

7. Relieves compression and palpitation of heart if due to gas

8. Cleanses the blood and improves exchange of gases in the lungs.

Anonymous said...

Oh,my gosh,Mel,I think I just laughed so hard I think I pulled a muscle!